Tuesday, June 19, 2007

just like anyone/ soul asylum

i just like this song
She walks into the outhouse
The cold night breathes into her face
The flies are standing still now
The moon it spills through the place
And she starts wondering it's like to be liked by everyone
And like everyone be just like anyone
And just wants to be so just like anyone
She reaches through the darkness
Her fingers touch the porcelain seat
She spins and pulls her pants down
The cold air holds her like a theif
She starts wondering what they mean, do they just mean to be mean
And thinking about the scene, do they just want to be seen
And trying not to seem so just like anyone
The door comes screeching open
She walks into the evening air
She disappears in the darkness
All that's left's the faint smell of her hair
She's done wondering what it's like to be liked by everyone
And like everyone be just like anyone
And just wants to be so just like anyone
And wondering what they mean, do they just mean to be mean
And thinking about the scene, do they just want to be seen
And trying not to seem so just like anyone

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

oh that chuck norris

for all of you who enjoy the chuck norris jokes. here is an artical (written by none other than chuck himself) on what will happen if he is elected president of the U.S. of A

Sunday, June 10, 2007

new blog

well as you all can see, out of boredom, i have redone my blog. sadly though i have not been able to find the clock (set at vancouver time, only new york) so that is gone till i find something better. yippee. in other news i have started a new job and now work at riverstone. much nicer kitchen and alot more hours. hence i will have more money to have fun, and less time to use it. also we finally have a new roomate, yes all the rooms in our house have been filled again. ather than that i still am a boring person but i will still post randon jokes and such. whatever amuses or interests me. untill then i will see you all in the future

Friday, June 08, 2007

airline humour

After every flight, Quantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Quantas' pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers.
By the way, Quantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.
(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by mechanics.)
P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.
P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.
P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.
P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.
P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.
P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.
P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.
P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

Sunday, June 03, 2007

9 signs of a dickhead

1. Not tippingPeople who provide good service should always be tipped. Don’t be an asshat. Folks in certain industries depend on that shit. If someone goes out of their way to ensure your happiness, you can come off a few bucks. Non-tippers deserve to be nut-kicked by a concrete boot.
2. Not controlling your kidsIt seems everywhere I go these days some wild ass little fucktard is running around a public place (stores…theaters…public parks) bothering otherwise decent folks with their monkey-like annoyance while their parents look on helplessly. Red Foreman would not put up with such behavior. We need more guys like Red Foreman in this world.
3. Driving slowNo one likes to be stuck behind the guy who has to slow to a turtle-crawl to make a left turn at a stoplight which only stays green for so many seconds. Turning a vehicle is not a complicated task. If your brain can not function in such a timely manner you should not be allowed to drive. Other people would like to make that turn as well. Don’t be a dick.
4. Not picking up your trashWe all know at least one guy always leaves a little piece of whatever he was doing on your end table or floor after he is gone. There are always trash cans around. Not using a receptacle to rid yourself of trash is just lazy. Like the old owl used to say, “Give a hoot, Throw your fucking trash away!”
5. Holding up linesIf there is even one person waiting behind you it is common courtesy to do what the fuck you came to do and move on. No one has time to wait on a person who has had ample opportunity to decide what they wanted before they got to the counter. Holding up other folks makes you a dredge on society’s functionality. Please think about this thoroughly the next time you plan on taking fifteen minutes in the express lane learning to write a check for a 7$ purchase.
6. Not yielding for pedestriansIn case you were wondering… yes, the phrase “the pedestrian always has the right of away” is meant to be taken literally. It is not going to kill you to observe the rules of the road and wait a few seconds for an old lady to finish crossing the street before you attempt to run her down. Decent folks who do not see the need to drive everywhere should not be at risk of their lives every time they enter the realm of the crosswalk because some idiot soccer mom bought an SUV and absolutely can’t be arsed to spare ten seconds of her day to let some kid cross the damn street.
7. Asking stupid questions in publicIf you are going to be a dumb-ass, please do so in the privacy of your own home. Regaling others with the scope of your stupidity in such places as a fast food lunch counter or the local supermarket checkout line does not make you cool. Asking such things as “How late are you open?” when there is a clear-as-day sign on the door as you walk in lacks common sense. While it may be true that ignorance is bliss, it is exactly the opposite for those who are forced to witness it.
8. Arguing with your girl in public Not a single person in this world cares the least little bit about your relationship problems. Whenever I see some asshole and his significant other acting like children in front of total strangers the first thought that comes to my mind is the need to bring back the old tar and feathering punishment. There are reasons you have your own home. One of them is so other people aren’t bothered with your failed love life.
9. Thinking you are too cool for the rest of societyEveryone hates the type of people who walk around with sticks stuck up their asses. Old Chuck was right when he said we are all part of the same shit heap. In essence we are all just animals roaming this earth. In a perfect world everyone would be treated with equal consequences and respect by everyone else. This planet would be such a nicer place to live if everyone could follow that simple rule.

Friday, June 01, 2007

this is creepy

all should check out this video it is kinda creepy
this next one could only come from japan
and really why does all the wierd shit come from japan
at least this one is from this continent
and i leave you off with another fucked up japanese game show